Boldclaw

Boldclaw
A Player Character played by semi

Affiliation
Warrior of WindClan
Vitals
A Male cat who identifies Male.
By Pending Sire out of Pending Dam.
Living at the age of 27 Moons (2.1 Years)
Appearance
 
Short Description:

A burly seal point tom with blue eyes

Long Description:

Boldclaw is a cream colored adult cat, with a seal-point brown coloring on his face, legs, and tail, with bold blue eyes with a certain gleam, and heavy eyebrows. He has thick, meaty legs, with some head and body fluff, a gray colored nose, toe beans, and ears. He has two small pink scars going diagonally across the left middle of his back, and dark whiskers.

Personality
 
 

Ever since he was a kit, his parents noticed two interesting traits of his, Confidence, and strength. They realized this from the fact that he would always be able to tear apart even the biggest bug, and the fact that even if it was really big, he could always do it, and he seemed confident from the gleam of his eyes. He has always been a friendly cat, ever since he was a kit, he has always cared for his friends, family, and anyone else (except his rivals). He has always been able to smell bugs from quite a distance even when he was a tiny kit, he has also always been a fast learner, picking up his skills very quickly, always needing a good puzzle to solve. He always had the same gleam of light in his eyes, especially when he is feeling confident.

History
 
Key Dates:
  • Born in the Moon of Lion's Glory (2018) 111
Full History:

     As a kit, Boldclaw was always loved by his parents. He was usually treated well, and was confident and strong even at his young age, he attacked bugs, and even mice, and was never discouraged, and he was always confident to catch that bug or mouse. But one day came where it all changed, he fell off of a ledge, onto a sharp stone, leaving a permanent bodily scar. The med helped him clean the scar and continue on.

As an apprentice he trained and trained. During his first day of training he already caught two mice, which he gave to his parents. After quite a while of training he was starting to get excited because of his fighting skills, for example, scratching, jumping from behind, sneaking, and such. He was happy to be improving his skills

Boldclaw kept training and training and he was starting to gain more ego. His ego died down after a while of being slightly more inactive. He trained and trained and kept a small ego from then on (for practical reasons), while still training to try to become a powerful apprentice. His parents were incredibly proud.

When Boldclaw became a warrior, he was very excited to finally be a warrior. He caught many mice, squirrels, fish, and even herbs in his time as a warrior and will continue to catch even more! Boldclaw’s parents were so proud that they gave him a flower wore until it eventually withered. He got all the recognition he wanted.

Later on, he had a crush on another warrior, and was rejected. He felt bad but didn’t really care that much, because they didn’t have a huge relationship. He fell off of a big rock and got a few temporary markings that went away after a few days. Boldclaw had a nightmare of being trapped in a ditch, but he forgot about it after a little bit. His parents gave him the love and affection that he felt he deserved, and was happy with his life, and still is.

Boldclaw was on another ordinary border patrol with a bunch of other warriors, and got a few temporary markings from RiverClan warriors. After border patrol, he got his wounds taken care of by the medicine cat, and did his standard warrior duties. Boldclaw got a few splinters, along with a few more temporary leg wounds.

Family
 
Sire: Pending Sire (Sire will be created after approval)
Dam: Pending Dam (Dam will be created after approval)
Pedigree
 
Offspring Parents Grand-parents
Boldclaw Pending Sire Unknown Sire (For characters with an unknown father)
Unknown Dam (For characters with an unknown mother)
Pending Dam Unknown Sire (For characters with an unknown father)
Unknown Dam (For characters with an unknown mother)
Significant Cats
 
Notes & Additional Details
 
Genetics: This character requires a genetic code to be bred.
Bans Data: Boldclaw has not been compiled into the bans records.

5 thoughts on “Boldclaw”

  1. History: After quite a while of training he was starting to get excited because of his unique fighting methods, for example setting up traps by digging deep holes in the ground with his paws, and putting tree moss he found above it so that mice and squirrels would fall in. He would jump in, attack them, and it would be more convenient to have everything in one place, much less to carry, and doesn’t require multiple trips back to get said critters. – I still don’t find this technique to be realistic at all. I don’t see either squirrels or mice falling for this, or for the effort of digging the hole to be worth it. Cats aren’t designed for digging. The covering wouldn’t appear like a stable bit of ground. CoSC prides itself on realism in Warriors RP, and this technique is well outside of the norm. You might try and pursue it as a Plot (where staff will decide how well the technique works based on your descriptions as the character develops it in character) after the character is approved, but it may not be effective.

  2. Overall: These things are really what’s causing most of the problems that are getting your sheet declined. In hopes of helping you get to where the character needs to be faster I’m going to call them out specifically.

    • Desire for uniqueness – Your character dosen’t require some unique contribution or accomplishment in the history to be a character worth playing. Generally speaking most character’s most interesting adventures happen after they’re approved! The more interesting an event is the more likely it is that it would only be approved to happen in actual RP rather than in a history.
    • Desire for a positive reputation – Because his reputation is created by other individuals it’s not really something you can define in his character sheet. Unless you’re discussing the way a character you control is reacting to him (or the way he considers himself) it will be classified as a power play. His reputation will develop in character, and be something held by other characters.

    History

    • training he was starting to get noticed for his intelligent fighting methods, – Powerplay. Noticed by whom? Right now it’s phrased in a way that gives it broad application to many characters. In addition to forcing other’s characters to have noticed yours, this also makes them have noticed a specific thing.
    • including setting up traps by digging holes in the ground and putting moss above it so that mice and squirrels would fall in. He would jump in, attack them, and jump back out with said critter. – Cats are not tool users outside of the herbs used by the Medicine Cats. Also, in what way is this superior to just laying in wait? Both mice and squirrels would have little trouble getting themselves out of a hole.
    • he was starting to get popular. His appreciation died down after a while of being slightly more inactive. – Powerplay.
  3. You’re making progress! And we’ll get you there. From your talk on discord this is your first play-by-post RPG, so you have a lot of skills to learn. You’re doing great!

    Personality

    • is strong, powerful, intelligent, confident, and friendly – Another case of pre-interpretive power playing. Please describe what you feel leads to these impressions instead of just claiming them.
    • Ever since he was born, his parents noticed two interesting traits of his, Confidence, and strength. They realized this from the fact that he would always be able to tear apart even the biggest bug, and the fact that even if it was really big he could always do it, and he seemed confident from the gleam of his eyes. – The expanded description is great, but it still refrences traits from birth. There’s a fairly significant period of time before he would have been moving about or even had open eyes and ears. Maybe you want to change the “from birth” part to be more in line with your description of how they realized those traits?

    History

    • But one day came where it all changed, he was attacked by another kit, who lunged at him when he was relaxing, and dug their claws into his back, leaving a permanent bodily scar. The med helped him clean the scar and continue on. – This is still a really significant situation if it resulted in permenant scars. Kits are taught from the moment they can hear that taking care of clanmates is essential. Please give much more detail on what caused this. If possible, i would urge you to find a player of a cat a similar age who is willing to let their character be this kit.
    • After quite a while of training he was starting to get noticed for his confident fighting. Boldclaw then moved on to become a sensation until his popularity died down when a story started spreading around about Boldclaw murdering another kit that didn’t even exist, and Boldclaw has been rejected after that. – You’re still powerplaying by forcing other people’s characters to have rejected yours. Also, this is an astoundingly major acusation that would result in the leadership of the clan getting involved. You’ll need to provide more detail to explain what actually happened and how/why a major misconception happened.
    • Boldclaw kept training and training until he was finally noticed. His appreciation died down again when the same apprentice caught an entire feast. – Still a power play.
    • Boldclaw got a flashback to what he believed was a past life of being trapped in a ditch, but he eventually forgot. – Him even beliving it was a past life implies that reincarnation is a spiritual belief in the clans. If you wish to continue to pursue this let me know and we’ll start the conversation to see if it will be made part of CoSC canon.
    • Boldclaw got a job from the leader after catching 5 fish in one trip. He was on his first ordinary border patrol with a bunch of other apprentices, – Isn’t he a warrior at this point? And how on earth is this his first border patrol? He would have been doing them durring his days as an older apprentice, both alongside his mentor and on his own. To be promoted to warrior a cat has have proven they can do the job, and do it well. Also, still a minor powerplay in making the leader single him out for something special.
  4. Hi Semi! You’ve got a solid start, we just have some details to clean up. This is perfectly normal for someone brand new to CoSC. We have standards, rules, and takes on the world that vary a bit from most other warriors games.

    Vitals: Living at the age of 0 Moons (0 Years) – You’ve selected a Moon of Birth that means your character was just born. Please check out the Moons Page to find out which moons correspond to which ages. If you need assistance just reach out on the discord.

    Appearance

    • eyes with a certain gleam of confidence – CoSC considers this a form of Power Playing (See The Pre-interpretive section of our Power Playing PSA for a compelte explanation with examples). Instead of describing how to interpret the traits, describe what you feel would give an impression of confidence in the character.
    • He has normal male adult proportions – Becuase the definition of normal is incredbly subjective and will vary between various populations please describe what you consider “normal adult make proportions” instead ofjust stating that.
    • has a bodily scar – This is very vauge. I suggest you give more detail about where the scar is and what it looks like.

    Personality

    • is strong, powerful, intelligent, confident, and friendly – Another case of pre-interpretive power playing. Please describe what you feel leads to these impressions instead of just claiming them.
    • Ever since he was born, his parents noticed two interesting traits of his, Confidence, and strength. – Describe how they came to belive him confident and strong even as a tiny, blind, mewling kit.
    • He has always been a fast learner, picking up his skills sooner than the majority of the other kits – Unless you can get the players of all characters who were sharing the nursery with them to agree that your character learning faster than their characters you cannot make an absolute staement like that unless you can prove it with IC interactions later.

    History

    • appreciated by the other kits, and even the leader! – Unless the players of these characters agree to this statement it will have to be changed. You cannot put actions onto other player’s characters.
    • was confident and strong – Focus on the traits rather than the impressions. What things did he do while that young that you feel show he was confident and strong?
    • one day came where it all changed, he was attacked by the ShadowClan leader, leaving a permanent bodily scar. – Why would a Palestar or her predicessor Dunestar have done such a thng? In addition to needing player permission from Palestar/Dunestar’s player, you’ll need to provide alot more details. Even just explainng how a kit and a clan leader ended up interacting is a big deal. You’re describing the makings of a significant inter-clan incident!
    • After quite a while of training he was starting to get noticed for his confident fighting. Boldclaw then moved on to become a sensation until his hope died down when another apprentice caught more mice than him in one day, and Boldclaw has been rejected constantly after that. – Major powerplaying due to the control the history is exerting here on how others are reacting. This is esepcially important to address because why would not catching the most mice on a single day change everything so dramatically?
    • Boldclaw kept training and training until he was finally noticed. His appreciation died down again when the same apprentice caught an entire feast. He trained and trained and finally got the appreciation he deserved, while still training to become a very powerful warrior. – More powerplay.
    • Boldclaw’s parents were so proud that they gave him a flower necklace that he continues to wear. – Cats lack thumbs, meaning a flower neckless is beyond what they are able to accomplish. Also, flowers wither and die. This thing wouldn’t have lasted long anyways.
    • He finally got the recognition he deserved. – Powerplay.
    • he had a crush on another warrior, and was rejected. He felt bad but didn’t really care that much, because they didn’t have a huge relationship. – This isn’t a request for change, just me encouraging you to read our take on Mates and Mating in the Warriors World. This is one of things we differ on the rest of the fandom on, so I thought I would just take a moment to draw your attention to it.
    • Boldclaw got a flashback to a past life of being a kittypet, but he eventually forgot. – CoSC currently has no existance of reincarnation and we would have to have a very long conversation to even consider making it game canon. If you wish to pursue this plot level inclusion just let me know and I’ll start a chat with Faux and you to go over the various details of how you plan to use there and where it would go.
    • Boldclaw got a job from the leader after catching 5 fish in one trip. He was on border patrol, and got a few temporary markings from RiverClan warriors. After border patrol, he got his wounds taken care of by the medicine cat, and did his standard warrior duties. Boldclaw got a few splinters, along with a few more temporary leg wounds. – Minor powerplay in making the leader single him out for something special, though what you go on to describe is just a normal border patrol with a small skirmish. Please clarify the situation and what the special thing he was tapped to do was.

    You’ve got a decent start going. I look forward to seeing the edited version and getting you live in game to do some RPing!

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